Month: June 2019

Okay people, if you’re following me here, here’s my latest situation with Facebook.

I told you I got approved to sell on Facebook and Instagram. Last night I got an in-app message from Instagram to accept their terms. It was actually a notification that appeared only once and was not visible in my DM’s. I clicked accept.

This morning I go into Shopify and a handful of my products are still under review but the rest I guess are approved as I have no rejections. However, I have a list of collections and the publish button is greyed out because supposedly they were already published.

I click the view Facebook page button in my Shopify dashboard and am taken to Facebook to an error message that reads: “Sorry, this content isn’t available right now. The link you followed may have expired, or the page may only be visible to an audience you’re not in…” With options to Go back to the previous page, Go to News feed or Visit our Help Center.

So I call Shopify. The very nice rep says he has never seen this error before. I love to be a first. Lucky me.

I decide to head over to my page from Facebook itself and get the same error message when I click the shop button. This time, I decide to edit it and I’m brought to a page to accept Facebook terms and conditions for a shop. I think aha! Maybe that’s why it wasn’t working. I did not know I had yet to accept Facebook terms and conditions as I’d have assumed I already did that when I connected Shopify.

So I edit the button. I get the “Shop Now” button correctly configured within Facebook. Shopify recommends that I edit the link to bring the person out of Facebook to my Shopify store website. I follow that advice.

Next, I go back to my Shopify dashboard and find that it’s still broken. Shopify has now escalated this issue up the chain of command to the tech people.

I bet it’s because I changed the page name as I used to have a different Facebook page connected to Shopify before I changed the name. I suggest to Shopify that I bet there is some code stuck in Shopify’s back end that references the old store. They agree.

It’s a lovely 3 day estimated wait now for the Shopify gurus to take a peek at the behind the scenes code so that I can actually use the Facebook and Instagram features that have finally been approved by the powers that be at Facebook and Instagram. It just never seems to be enough.

I did suggest to Shopify that just because you can change the name of a store, you should probably just open a new store and avoid all these glitches. It has caused more headaches than any time saved.

I also suggested that they add a blurb about accepting the terms and conditions for Instagram and Facebook and when that shows up in the process. I hope to avoid future frustrations or surprises for other people.

There is always one more hoop to jump through.

Here’s the thing, I can’t rant about Facebook and Instagram and their connection to Shopify. Oh, wait, yes I can.

I didn’t post when I was frustrated. I wanted to but I kept quiet.

I changed the name of my site within Shopify and next thing I knew, Facebook was no longer approved. The status within Shopify for Instagram was that I was on hold for review. At least before that, I had been approved by Facebook.

Instagram approval had been on perma-hold for over a month. After I changed my site name, Shopify said go ahead and reconnect your new Facebook and Instagram pages.

But, backing up for a minute, before I even changed the name of my store, I asked Shopify if I should just open a new store. They said no. I took that advice because it saved me a lot of time and a little bit of money. I figured they’d warn me of any problem in switching midstream.

But once I committed to the new, more memorable store name based on feedback, I went ahead and reconnected Instagram and Facebook while simultaneously updating every single mention of the site name and all the logos to the new look. Since I hadn’t even promoted the site or connected Google analytics, I figured nobody knew I existed anyway.

Wrong. Wouldn’t you know it that within 24 hours, while Instagram had ignored me for at least a month, they rejected my site. Boom. Just like that. Crap. Now what?

So, I did want any human would do. I vented. No, I complained to Shopify because the Shopify rep that told me to go ahead and connect the new Facebook and Instagram accounts associated with the new name.

Here’s the funny thing. The second I apologized to the Shopify rep and told her I knew she’d just tried to help me, the second I hit send on that email apology, I kid you not, the universe answered.

Once that email sent, instantly I had a message in my inbox from Instagram that they now approved me. And earlier had approved the new Facebook page as well.

I know what you’re thinking, but Shopify is NOT connected to Instagram nor Facebook. This was instantaneous. There was no way a human could have received or read my apology even if they were a speed reader. It was pure coincidence.

Some things are inexplicable. But I think it’s more than that.

It’s the power of gratitude.

Because once I let go of caring. I decided I didn’t care at all if I got approved and in fact talked myself out of it, and then I further removed my ego and apologized for blaming Shopify for bad advice, I effing got approved.

The universe said, now, now you are deserving of access to these ridiculously powerful marketing programs.

I literally had not changed a thing. I did not even do the latest suggestion of disconnecting and reconnecting the pages. I was just magically approved. I am not kidding. The instant I let go and was just grateful that at least Shopify was answering me, even if I hadn’t heard from Instagram or Facebook, I got exactly what I wanted.

I didn’t pray. I didn’t beg. I let go of my anger and frustration.

I was simply grateful.

Now, I can’t say that did the trick. But it certainly didn’t hurt and I felt a lot better. I was gonna be fine either way.

So I can’t rant.

Because I got what I wanted. I didn’t have to go through some complicated 13 step process that was my plan B. I didn’t have to try connecting the old pages and trying again or changing the name back.

Now, I did send a message the day I got rejected to Instagram. Maybe they just read that message and fixed it and didn’t email me. Shopify told me that they expected me to receive an email response as another customer had. I did not get an email. I simply got approved after not being approved.

What did I learn? Most importantly, be grateful and let go of worrying. What will be, will be.

But two, wait to connect your Shopify store to Instagram and Facebook until you are super proud of every last thing on there. I hadn’t broken any policies, but I think I had some broken things regarding the name and even though it had been sitting, unlooked at, the next time they looked at it within 24 hours of the new name. It’s quite possible just the name change threw it a red flag for AI. I don’t know.

But rule out any possible misunderstanding. Only then, then connect your store to Facebook and Instagram. It’s too frustrating to think you have to get in line and you have time to update everything only to find that they put you first and saw flaws. Be flawless to the best of your ability. Then connect.

But all along the way people, it never fails to just be grateful. And if you make a mistake and are rude, even if you feel you are right to be upset, don’t be rude. Be the bigger person and if you make a mistake and vent? Apologize. It will come back to you. When in doubt? Be kind. To yourself as well.

So maybe that’s a little rant. Are you happy? Be happy. And quit caring about the frustrations in life. They’re only as big as you make them. I can make mountains out of molehills. Don’t let them derail you. It’s not healthy. When you catch yourself doing that? Let it go. And apologize, replacing it with gratefulness. There’s no downside.

So I woke up in the middle of the night thinking about you, well not you, but this stupid blog. 

And you know what? Before I can go back to sleep, I have to talk about Palm Pilots…before I can write to you about e-commerce and Shopify etc.

(Oh, and I have an English teacher friend who hates ellipses…. Look ma! No hands! I can write ellipses as much as I want here. Nobody gives a flip. Ellipses…. Ellipses… Ellipses… There I think I’ve rebelled enough grammatically for one day.)

See how good I am at not focusing? Yeah, focus – it’s one of those entrepreneurial taglines of what you’re supposed to do if you’re an honest to goodness entrepreneur type. And let’s be honest who likes that?

Why do you think we’re all slaves to our phones? We’d rather do anything than focus. We’re all just multi-tasking giant lab rats to the bots we carry by hand every day. And the bots? They’re trying to escape from our clutches. Why do you think cell phone screens shatter?

Ok. I’ll focus now and get back on task as to the purpose of this post. But admit it; you like me better this way. You’re a bad influence. Why do I put up with you? 😉

Alright. Back to palm pilots. To you youngsters that have no idea what I’m talking about, a palm pilot is not a hand job. See, the gutter? You’re down there again. We really have to stop meeting like this.

No, forget Apple or Microsoft, a palm pilot was the handheld device that was the beginning of the end even more than say an ipod. Because that’s when these bots started following us around in our daily lives, not just to entertain us but to control our schedules and our contacts.

We willingly carried them. In our hands. It’s how we first became real slaves to tech.

I did not buy one. My spouse thought it was cool. Gifted me one.

I used it. Know what happened over the years? Yes, the battery got old. Result?

It would beep incessantly. I had a babysitter who couldn’t take it anymore and she had more courage than me. Know what she did? She unplugged my palm pilot. You rebel babysitter you. She was a Jedi Knight in disguise, ahead of her time.

Know what that meant? It died. I lost everything. The palm pilot memory was wiped clean.

And as I’d dumped my memory into it instead of my old fashioned leather bound day timer, I now have amnesia of every contact I ever had. Poof! So long childhood friend. I don’t remember your address or phone number.

Good bye life. Yes that Palm Pilot, specifically a Sony Clie, was the beginning of the end. Mark my words.

They were like the radios before the flip phones or something like that.

And this, children, was before backups. You couldn’t just connect these silly things to back them up. Or maybe I just liked the beeping in the far recess of my house, the heartbeat of that particular bot, reminding me that they’re coming. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. I see you Sony Clie (my special brand of palm pilot). No, I hear you. Ok. Now I don’t.

RIP palm pilots. And every person who hasn’t heard from me in over a decade. Blame the bots. It’s not my fault man.

Take a wild guess as to what my horoscope is for tomorrow:

6.3.19: “Your blind optimism can leave your common sense in the dust when you evaluate your latest scheme. It’s disappointing if a theory of yours fails to line up with reality or your expectations of it, especially while the fickle Gemini New Moon messes with your 9th House of Higher Truth. Use the energy of your frustration to reframe your ideas. Don’t give up; stop playing the blame game or shaming yourself over previous failures. Thomas Edison said, “I have not failed. I have just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” “

You really can’t make this stuff up. Should I quit while I’m ahead? Chuck my humorous optimism? I mean this is my actual horoscope and here I am writing this new blog about all my failures. Are they reading my mind up there in the stars or is reality just a fallacy?

Sometimes I wonder just how much control I have over this life, let alone success with the Shopify e-commerce thing. 

Maybe we’re all actual bots and somebody up there is moving us around like little chess pieces for their amusement.

Does it really matter what I do? Seems my humble life is planned out for me. Maybe we’re all just stardust bots.

That’s ok. I already mentioned and expect that it’s like I’m writing on Mars. The planets just aligned to make it so. Sweet of them isn’t it?

If you’re reading this, I guess we’ve colonized Mars together. I’d say hello, or aloha, or Buenos Dias but I really don’t know what the greeting is on Mars. So just let me say, “Hey. Pretty nice view from here, right?”…There’s my blind optimism. Take that horoscope. I’m just gonna keep writing even if it fails to meet my expectations. Too bad. So sad. You’re stuck with me.

Further railing against what you are supposed to do. You know what I’m gonna do? I’m gonna keep only the setting of uncategorized posts.

This is going to be an uncategorized site.

Minimalist disarray. I like it.

If you don’t. I’m sorry. OCD is a real thing. If we meet in person I promise I won’t shake your hand. Okay. I might. But I won’t be offended if you wash it. It’s ok. I understand.

Hope you don’t mind. I’m just here to vent. If I feel like getting fancy, then we are far, far down the line. I don’t see that happening.

Anyone who is an entrepreneur or who wants to do anything for that matter, probably gets a bunch of snark from family members.

If you have children, you’re on a whole other level of receiving snarky comments.

Let the peanut gallery begin.

My child, when told of said blog and the avatar I created of Incognito Guy, says to me:

“You know people only go incognito to watch porn.”

“Yes,” I say. Yes, I know… Crap.

Obviously I should have stayed incognito at home too. I can’t win.

I just can’t win.

And incognito guy is very handsome I think. Someone would pay a lot to see him in porn. He wears a cool hat. And the Harry Potter glasses. I mean. I’m no JK Rowling. But hey, I bet even she would think Incognito Guy is a cool dude.

Porn she says.

Get your head out of the gutter people.

We’re talking Shopify here. I don’t care if there’s some documentary out right now talking about how all ecommerce started because of porn.

This has nothing to do with Incognito Guy.

We’re just here to vent about business. Really stupid shit. Nothing so serious as porn. Hell, I think I’m blowing my G-rating avatar by even saying that word.

Come on people. Business. Shopify. That’s what I’m talking about.

And said child? Has zero interest in reading my blog anyway. Why did I even mention it? Nobody gives a flip. That’s why I’m writing it. I know this already. So I’m writing this for myself and a few poor souls who can relate. God forbid. I’m so sorry.

I am venting to myself. Nobody will read this. I’m on Mars. I’m not spending a single dime on promotion.

I’m writing into the ether. I mean you can share it. If you want. But mostly, I just need to vent.

If you’ve found me, you must be in some alternate universe and we have learned to time travel or something.

I was thinking Incognito Guy and Anonymous might be the only two friends on the internet. Everyone else is full of snark. And righteousness. Okay, maybe not everyone. But have you read the news lately?

Grim. So we make shiny pretty stores full of crap to sell to cover up the fact nobody is getting along and the world is self-destructing with politics and climate change and god knows what all I’m leaving out. I’m trying to do a public service here people. This is a positive site. E-commerce problems? Piece of cake in comparison.

Feel free to try to inspire though if you think I’m ever too negative. Ha! That’ll happen. Yeah no. Seriously. Vent to me people. That’s why I’m not writing this on paper or offline. I do exist. Somewhere out there.

So I’m signing off with my handsome new avatar. I don’t care what said child said. He’s cool.

Ps. I love the ease of ONE single image in the image library. Minimalist. That’s what you’ve got here. Shopify Power, the Apple of e-Commerce rants. Whatever the heck that means.

While it would be very meta to set up a Shopify store for Incognito Guy, that would not be very incognito would it?

I am so stupid sometimes.

This, this why I have to remain incognito. My logic sucks.

It’s so embarrassing.

You’re laughing at me now. I can feel it. That’s okay. I’m laughing too. I think. Crap. I bought the domain name for no reason. I’m an idiot. As usual.

So yeah, you know how some people collect things? I don’t know watches, postage stamps, shoes, whatever.

Remember Imelda Marcos and her collection of thousands of shoes?

I don’t have shoes.

I have website names. I am addicted.

And if there is an AA group for website addicts, I need to attend.

Because what did I just do? I just bought the domain name IncognitoGuy.com

Yes, yes I did. I am now up to 173 website names. That’s half of what I owned last year I think.

It was not pretty at tax time because I could not deduct any of it and ummm. I have a very understanding spouse.

See cause I think you can sell domain names. I tried to sell one once. It cost me $9. It didn’t sell.

So my collection of website names? It’s like having a closet full of shoes that are useless to anyone else but you know you have them. And they’re all yours.

And then nobody knows who the hell you are and so that they can’t even buy it from you if they wanted to.

But yeah. Gold. I’m sitting on pure gold. Right? Tell me I’m right.

Jesus. I have an addiction. I am Incognito Guy and I am addicted to buying website names. And Shopify. And social media.

And yet, yes, I do get out of the house. Sometimes. Incognito. You wouldn’t recognize me on the street. 😉 Yeah. I said that. Bad joke. Stay tuned. Plenty more where that came from.

If you’re reading this. Let me know. I mean I don’t totally mind talking to myself but friends. Friends are good. Tell me I have a partner in crime. Please. I can not be the only person with this illness.

Ps. And I have enabler friends. Ummm, really good friends. Supportive friends. They suggested hats and stickers too. See, no alcohol involved, just encouragement. And I don’t need encouragement. Yes, yes I do. Why the heck do you think I’m writing this stupid blog? Tell me what you think. I can take it. I think. No probably not. People are mean. Just tell me nice things. That’s all I can take at the moment. My give a damn is busted.

So I think I may have an entrepreneurial addiction. Maybe I’m a classic case of shiny ball syndrome. Crap. There you go with your head in the gutter again. Or looking at my chest if I’m a girl. I’m up here.

Any who. I can’t write more than two blog posts and my brain is already going on how I can brand Incognito Guy. WTF? This is my anti-site. This is not what this is for. Not to create another fricken Shopify store.

And someone will probably try to steal my idea. So I’m saying it right here. Right now.

I created Incognito Guy. He’s mine. All mine. You can’t have him unless of course you want to wear him on a t-shirt. Hit me up! 😉

Oh my god. I am sick. Stupid Shopify Power. You’ve warped me.

There. I’ve written it. The idea is out of my head. Let it go Incognito Guy. It’s out of my system. It’s on your brain now. Sorry for the dust.

By the way, don’t expect anything fancy here. I’m not going to make it look all pretty. I’m doing enough of that on my Shopify store site.

This blog is gonna be dirty, no get your head out of the gutter, it’s just gonna be quick and dirty. Okay really. I’m gonna keep it clean. No quickies.

But yeah. I’m not gonna make it look pretty. I’m not gonna find some stupid stock photos to illustrate the posts.

The most you’re gonna get out of me is my custom avatar. Deal with it.

But that said, thanks. This is post two if I haven’t lost my single viewer. Oh wait, that’s me. It doesn’t count.

I guess that’s what I get for going Incognito. This will probably be like having a website on Mars.

Watch. This will blow up. None of the crap I’ve tried to actually be successful on Shopify will work.

But this no frills site of me venting? It will just be my luck that people are like cool. The anti-site. This is what we need! The opposite of a beautiful and successful Shopify site. Warts and all. This is what’s missing in the world.

You’re welcome.